(These situations typically cause him considerable distress.) But, as always, he rose to the occasion, and I was reminded once again how lucky I am to have him as my life partner. I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by my husband’s willingness to join in despite his introverted personality. Through a variety of deep exploration exercises, we all began to open up and share intimate feelings and stories, seeking comfort in one another’s support.
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With their guidance, we reflected on and analyzed the positive and negative experiences we had endured and talked about our goals and vision for the future.
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Our relative ease and comfort throughout the retreat were a testament to the skill of leaders Jocasta Boone and Sharon Davison, of Living With Purpose Now, both experts in helping people transition through change. It’s actually quite remarkable how quickly you can connect with complete strangers and then confide in them about things you might not even tell your closest friends. And despite our differences, we had something in common: We had all gone through a difficult period in our lives and were looking for a way to move forward. But, as it turns out, we very much enjoyed our group of fellow retreaters – an eclectic bunch, including an engineering professor, a recovering alcoholic and a young woman with bipolar disorder. But we decided to dive right into it, with open minds and hearts, hoping that maybe we would find some solace and guidance.Īdmittedly, we had preconceived notions about what kind of people typically embark on a mindfulness retreat (i.e., New Age hippies who smell of patchouli). Let’s just say that when you hear descriptors like “peaceful,” “meditative” and “Buddha-like,” you do not think of us.
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Mindfulness, the act of being in the present moment, is something neither one of us has ever been particularly good at. Our program was entitled “Mindfulness, Change and Living With Purpose,” which seemed incredibly fitting. It was with this goal in mind that we decided to sign up for a retreat at the Dharma Centre, a facility nestled in the woods of Kinmount, Ont., that offers various spiritual retreats. We had truly been through a war together, and now we were searching to bring a bit of clarity and calm to our relationship. Although this unique experience bonded us in a way that most young couples will never know, it also saddled us with a lot of extra stress and unease about the future. Luckily for me, my husband stuck by me through it all: He slept on the floor next to my bed in the hospital, brought me Popsicles during chemo treatments, emptied fluid from my surgical drains and attempted to soothe me when I was in agonizing pain or panicking that I wouldn’t live to see my next birthday. If you really want to see what your relationship is made of, throw a little cancer into the mix and you’ll figure it out fairly quickly.
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And although many newlyweds face all sorts of challenges, I’d say that our circumstance was a bit extraordinary. It was two months before our first wedding anniversary that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. While I’m not sure that this statement rings true for all couples, my marriage was certainly put to the test very early on. Some people say that the first couple of years of marriage are the most difficult.